motivation

Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts. The posts are listed in chronological order. Click the post title to read more.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013 in , , , , , , ,

The Un-Resolution way to make Meaningful Changes

It's the day after New Year's Day, or, as I'm going to be thinking of it "Un-New-Year's-Day."
That's kind of like an Un-Birthday for those who know how Mad Hatters and March Hares operate.  There's a heck of a lot more Un-New-Year's-Days than there are New Year's Days but somehow we feel obliged to fit all our celebration and renewal into one solitary day.  Maybe you have to be mad to see the abundance of other days on which you could be evolving.  If so I'm quite possibly completely bonkers.  Just bonkers enough to think maybe you'd like to join me on this journey... 

Change is an ongoing process, and resolutions made because of an arbitrary date are, in my opinion, more of a psychological "out" and a way to make ourselves feel like we are addressing change rather than fuel for real, substantial evolution. Change is a constant process and should be embraced each day.   Just like an Un-Birthday you can have your Un-New-Year's-Day anytime.
If you only resolve once per year to get "better" that is perhaps only a few dozen changes you may make in your life, only some of which will actually stick. If you approach change (and really change is growth) as a daily pursuit not only are your changes more likely to stick but the progress that can be made is virtually infinite. The very practice of embracing challenges and new thinking each day prepares you to be successful at it each time you make a change in the future. You can be fluid instead of stagnant, a master changer, and greeting your full potential openly. 


If enlightenment is possible in a single lifetime then that is a big, but achievable mountain to climb.  Just think of the constant path you'll need to get there.  You certainly won't ever arrive at the summit by putting the climb off until tomorrow.

Come to your life with beginner's mind each day. Pick a corner and start nibbling away at the big things you want. Instead of making a resolution say "I'll just do this new thing for today."
Allowing yourself to experiment and practice a new behavior once or twice may make it less scary than resolving and "failing". Then the next time you just do it for a day it feels fulfilling instead of guilty and is associated in your mind with success instead of failure. 

You can find the things that nourish you by experimenting and experimenting again, gradually incorporating the things that work and eliminating the things that don't. 

Go completely mad with me. Let's be crazy!  Live in the now and let's Un-Resolve together.  Don't wait another whole year to embrace your desires.  After all it's Un-New-Year's-Day today and for the next 364 days.  That means it's time to celebrate some change, and you might as well celebrate it because some is on the way.  Love your now, but be ready to be better.

Now is all you have. Be Present Now.


Saturday, November 24, 2012 in , , , , ,

The Trick to Keeping Positive (even when it's positively grueling)

Positivity.  Happiness.  Joy.  
With so many different messages pushed our direction it's no wonder we end up confused and befuddled about why we still don't have lasting happiness.  After all, it's so easy, right?

 Here's the word from a person usually seen publicly as a healing, inspirational, energetic, happy individual - Positivity is positively HARD sometimes.  Getting to happy and maintaining a light, bright mindset isn't always shiny.  In fact, sometimes it's like nails on a chalkboard, it's slogging through the mud, it's facing every icky, awful voice inside yourself and baring it in ways you might like to otherwise avoid.  It’s striving to give even when you feel like the whiny Kindergartener inside you would like to just throw a supernova style fit. 


I still struggle with the idea of whether happiness should be a constant state of being.  Sometimes I just feel sad – deeply, intensely sad, and a smile feels like an impossible feat.  I can feel like I’ve fallen pretty far down my very own little mucky hole.  The quiet of the weekends and holidays is a particularly trying time for me as it is when I am “supposed” to be happy and have fun.  Instead it feels like a giant letdown mixed up soup of stress blowout that I’ve been trying to ride through all week.  It tends to implode on me by Saturday morning.  Blah.  

Is this a personal weakness?  Does this mean I’m not nearly as spiritually secure and accomplished as I’d like to be?  Or is this acceptable and normal?  Does the Dalai Lama have “off” days?  I’m still wrestling with trying to divine answers to these things inside myself. 

What I do know is that recovering from these funkety-funk lows often takes every trick I know and they often feel like hard, hard work to a bummed out, low energy me.  Despite being a natural and holistic health advocate I often wish there were an easy way out too.  (Where did I put my magic wand?)  Recovery takes effort and often not a small bit.  Mental discipline is also the toughest at the moments when you need it the most.  

Even though I might feel like just wallowing in my lopsided mood I make myself meditate, do yoga, take a hot bath, employ some aromatherapy, repeat myself some positive mantras, fix some nourishing food that I know will boost my happy body chemistry, and what I honestly find to be most inspirational and tide-turning of all – look towards the other people in my life for a kick in the pants in the right direction.  

Chances are that with 300+ online friends someone else might be happy even while I’m feeling down.  Since I’ve surrounded myself with a large network of encouraging, intelligent, kind, growth-oriented and truth-seeking souls oftentimes my Facebook, Twitter, or blog feed has just what I’m needing that day offered by someone who was on the up-and-up with the happy vibes. 

When you’re feeling weak and low it might be time to let the smile of another bolster you.  If you have brought the right, reinforcing people into your life they’ll happily help keep you on the positive path.  Many times I have felt like others have been my guiding lights back out of the darkness, a little lifeline cast into the murky depths and towing me back to the boat.  Often all they need to do is just show they are gamely going through their days the best they can, and just by being another empathetic example I don’t feel so alone.  Sometimes like in this blog post by Juliana of the Peaceful Peacock called How to Be Courageous the message is much more direct – get up, dammit, no excuses.   

Over time the wisdom offered by friends has saved me from sadness more times than I can count.  They fill my empty cup and quaff my thirst.   

“Reach out your hand if your cup be empty.  If your cup is full may it be again.”  Robert Hunter, Ripple

Jasper Jones, a novel by Craig Silvey, features a key conversation between Charlie and his best friend about who is the better superhero, Superman or Batman.  Charlie's friend argues that Superman is better because of all his powers.  Charlie argues back that Batman is the greater hero because he’s just a regular guy who decides to do the right thing.  Because he isn’t invulnerable it is the courage to still stand against all that is evil despite being only human that elevates Batman.  I’ve kept this conversation close in my heart since reading it.  While I’m no Batman I do attempt to keep Batman style courage fervently in mind as I’m standing each day against my challenges.  I don’t have to be superhuman, I just have to keep striving.

In the end when the good side wins it’s because those who stand in hope and love never truly stand alone.  You may be out there at the forefront of your life battling your worst fears and feeling awfully exposed, but if you look just next to you I think you’ll find there’s someone else engaged in the same struggle.  They want to see you win, and the gift of continuing your own struggle is that they might see through to the victory in theirs as well.  Don’t give up, for goodness sake.  We all win when you keep at it. 
  

I’m not perfect.  I’m not even positive all the time.  But dang it I’m out here trying.  My deepest gratitude goes to those who have gone before me as my teachers and guides.  Because of  your light my way has been a little brighter and my progress more possible.  I hope I can cast a line for a few others and pay the positive forward.  Soul warriors, spirit seekers, troubadours, lovers, and those awakening to all the possibilities – you’ve got a friend, and I hope that brings you Happiness.


Friday, December 14, 2007 in , , , , , , , , ,

Getting it Done - a brief guide to how I get creative now instead of later


Being creative is like a hurricane. Sometimes the hurricane is on the outside and sometimes it is on the inside. When it is on the outside your materials are flying and you are in physical action, possessed by the thought of "getting it done". But to get to this stage you have to channel your energy from the inside, and your inner self may not be so easily disciplined.

I spend a lot of time with my inner hurricane. This might look like doing nothing, but I am actually hard at work processing ideas and working them out. At least half of my creative time is with this inner world. And yes, even I have trouble just getting started on things sometimes. But the key is, well, just do it! Even it if is hard, or slow, or a little rocky. That beginning is the hardest part but the most necessary. I've found that when a creative urge isn't channeled it either disappears forever or turns into confusion and frustration.

People often think it is a dream to be their own boss. Well, sometimes it is not so dreamy - it is downright hard. Self discipline, critical thinking and problem solving, and the ability to take action when needed are all incredibly important traits. Not everyone has these traits, or is ready to use them if they do. With noone to tell me what to do every day I could easily just stay in bed. (Alright, so I have a 3 1/2 year old so I couldn't actually stay in bed, but I could certainly be a lot more lazy.) With no boss and no set schedule many people can lose their direction. I am frequently asked how I do everything I do. My first (and true) answer is: Sleep deprivation! But there is a lot more to it.

1. Brains need feeding!
In order to maintain a creative flow I find I need to spend time doing a lot of different things. Doing one thing too much stagnates your energy, and ideas need fresh input. I am voracious about consuming information, images, sounds, and input - everything I can expose myself to that will spark ideas. Alternating exposure with quiet time is important to being able to process all that new material. I try to choose quality sources of information. After all, junk in equals junk out. Um, I hope this doesn't rock anyone's world, but tabloids may not be the best reading material if you are hoping to achieve brilliance. Surrounding oneself with quality people and quality work will spur you on to do more and better things yourself. Open yourself up to even things that will shock you initially. Getting out of your own head and into someone else's can be a great thing to prompt new thinking.

2. Lack of experience is not an excuse.
I taught ceramics for several years and it was always fun to see new students begin to throw their first pots on the wheel. Like many other activities it looks so easy when done by someone experienced...but then - whoops! Their lump of clay would be flying of the wheel and onto the floor. Not so easy if you don't have skills with the materials.

Everyone starts at nothing, so failing initially is just part of the process. I've had some pretty fantastic failures in my career, in fact I'm pretty sure I learn best when I screw up. When making my first few batches of soap I did OK on the first one or 2, but I think it was the third that really got me. The lye and water didn't get mixed properly and when I added it to the oils everything just curdled and turned into this lumpy mess that looked like pink, oily, cottage cheese. Yum! That batch went straight into the trash can. And that is just one on the list of sculptures that exploded, shirts that didn't fit, and facial creams that wouldn't stay mixed. In fact, I'm happy to say that I truly believe that if you aren't failing at your endeavors a significant percentage of the time then you are really not pushing the envelope at all. Growth requires some screwing up, and am I ever good at screwing up!

If you can ignore your outcome, you'll go far - at least as far as learning is concerned. While you can't disregard your product indefinitely, practicing with an open mind allows you to become familiar with materials, and familiar with yourself. No goal other than practice is even really necessary. Everyone starts somewhere, and you can't get anywhere if you never start. Experimentation and knowledge of your materials will go a long way to help you know which of your ideas is possible, and which is not.

Everyone practices in a different way. I've often heard it said that writers are supposed to sit down and write every single day, even if they think they don't have any ideas. I was forced to keep a sketchbook in art school - something I honestly never really liked doing. I understand the purpose, but it just wasn't my thing. I like to draw, and actually have several sketchbooks but I tend to draw with purpose rather than just for the sake of drawing. I do much better when I am "sketching" with my actual materials. This, I think, is fine too. Anything that keeps you active is good. The idea is to make creative observation and activity part of your everyday life. So this step and your brain food actually are intertwined.

3. Don't think about it too much.
Now you're saying, "What?? She just said to think about it a lot!" Well, the other side to this is that you can't overthink your project or you'll end up psyching yourself out. Thinking too much can make things seem bigger than they really are. I know there are plenty of people out there that just can't get started on something because it seems like too much to handle. Turn off those voices in your head. They are just plain evil, and they will prevent you from doing amazing things.

4. Eat your Fear for breakfast.
We all need to squash whatever is stopping us from going after our dreams, and quickly. The start of every day is the perfect time. Decide what brave, adventuresome thing you want to do and then find some way to start working on it.
Usually when I am afraid of something I find that the reason I'm afraid is because I'm inexperienced, or not knowledgeable in that field or activity. So I take that and flip it around to action. If I'm afraid, that is when I know I need to dive right in! I don't want to be afraid of anything in my life.

There is a big difference between fear, and logically deciding something is not a good idea. I am usually afraid of meeting new people (suprise!) and yet I know for sure this is a good idea. I have the same insecurities as everyone else about how I am perceived, and get terribly nervous about public appearances or sales engagements at trade shows. I am lucky that I get to work with a population in the Natural Products community that is unusually friendly, welcoming, and warm. And I still get afraid! I would never be cut out for "The Apprentice" or any normal business environment - I'd be eaten alive and I know it. I am certainly not your average businessperson. But I make myself get out there and try. I remind myself that I can't run a business in a vacuum, and that gee, people might actually like me. (I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, gosh darnit, people like me!) Not everyone will, but some. I've found through working on my anxieties I've gotten much better at presenting. I just try to play up my strength - my passion for my materials and products!

I use this same "get over it" attitude with my creative endeavors. Just running my business and being responsible for other people's well being is a pretty scary thing - after all, if I tank they go down with me. But if I do nothing we'll tank for sure. Don't let yourself fear action.

5. The "just one more thing" mentality
I frequently tell people that if I had known just how hard it was going to be to start my own business I am pretty sure I might not have done it. In this case, ignorance may have been my best asset. I was too inexperienced to know the thrashing I was in for. Fortunately I've got a head full of rocks and noone is going to tell me I'm going to fail if I decide otherwise. Stubborn or stupid? Maybe a little of both...

It is a big job to launch an idea. So big that it can seem pretty intimidating. My personal method for attacking big projects is an alternative to the "baby steps" method. First I find little ways to get started. If you have been practicing and working regularly on your creative activities then finding something little to do shouldn't seem too hard. One of my rituals before a big sewing project was to clean up everything in my sewing area that related to previous projects. It seems like procrastination, but really it is an integral part of my process. I can't think about a new project with remnants of the old still sitting there. Then I'd pull out all the materials for the new project. Often this would be all I would do on the first day, just set the stage. Then when I returned the next day I was mentally and environmentally prepared to jump in, and it seemed that much easier.

Once started I look for pieces of the project that I know I can do. Then I can tell myself confidently, "Well, at least I can do that!". Then when I'm done with that piece the voice in me says, "That wasn't so bad. Maybe I could just do one more thing..."
I continue to say that after every little step I finish. Before I know it the project is half done, and by then I'm excited about it! It seems to be a great way to trick myself into getting something done, even when I may have initially been dragging my feet. It seems a lot easier to think about doing just "one more thing" for another 20 minutes than to think about working for another 8 hours.
*Caution - this method works so well, in fact, that you may end up working straight through important events, your dinnertime, and losing a good bit of sleep because you've stayed up 4 hours past your bedtime without even realizing it. If you miss your child's graduation or husband's award dinner because you said "just one more thing" to yourself a few too many times I'm officially not responsible. Use wisely!*So this is pretty much how things work for me. Let's review, and take heart, dear reader, in knowing that:
- I'm scared sometimes.
- It's hard for everyone, not just you.
- I screw up a lot. (no really, a LOT)

And somehow I still have managed to get up every day and work towards keeping my dreams alive. Nearly 5 years in on running Blissoma and while the finances could be prettier I'm pretty pleased with the rest of our progress...Quite frankly I don't know what else I'd be doing.

Now, go do something great!

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